Alienated

When I was younger I used to love winter and fall. I liked dark clouds I liked rain I liked the smell of cold air. But these days, year after year I grow into hating it more and more. I simply can't see even a glimpse of light even through the clouds from morning till dusk. Entangled with my downtime when I need to feel warmth within my body and have some peace in my mind when I need to feel being physically present in order to retreat from my thoughts I run to my mind from cold feet and cold hands and cold nose. pretty shitty combination isn't it

I hate cold and I know it's not just about the physical coldness