Alienated

How does one kill off their unwanted, harmful, rutting desires? How can you not be what you already are? How should you purify your essence when everything has emerged? How can you know what it feels like to be somebody else without stopping being you, when you know this current you ,won't change? How can you clean the windows whilst your hands are dirty? How can you be one while everything is splitting you apart? When can I finally sleep this tiredness away?